Is that your REAL hair? How did you get it...you're DARK-SKINNED!

I am a dark-skinned girl with curly, 3C hair. I am not (directly) mixed with anything but good ole Blackness! I have spent my entire life hearing comments about my hair..."How did you get that kind of hair?" "Is that your real hair?" "Your hair looks like a weave!" "Well I know that must be your hair because it's been like that since elementary, but how did you get that hair?" It is a HUGE misconception, and frankly ignorant, to think that the ONLY way a dark-skinned girl can have 3 type hair is that she must be mixed!

Knowing that I have this hair type has helped me find other ladies to follow on YouTube and I have gain valuable insight into how to better take care of my hair, and sometimes products to use that actually work. The ignorance that I see in comments astounds me. I have 8 siblings-we a resemble each other but we all look different. We span the whole spectrum of color. One of my brothers is light-skinned with 4 type hair...very thick and cotton-like with no curl whatsoever. My baby brother is blond! With green eyes to boot! Yes...same mother and father. And ironically, he was teased for having curly, blond hair and not looking like the rest of us.

One day, I hope that we all learn to have compassion and sensitivity to the differences and uniqueness of every human being. We get caught up in trying to IDENTIFY someone-mark them and put them in the "appropriate" place, that we forget to just accept people for who they are and have fun...living. 

9/11/01-9/11/11

I thought all day about what I wanted to say regarding the terrorists attacks of 9/11/01. I didn't want to just say, "God Bless America," or "Remembering 9/11." Still, I truly don't have anything exceptional to say. But the one thing I noticed about today and how the 10 year anniversary has been covered, is that there are so many vantage points, experiences and stories from that day. Every person who experienced it, both directly and from afar, has a story to tell. From the person who missed the train and "should have" been there, to the last woman rescued from the rubble, there are still so many stories to be told. Every person who witnessed the horrible tragedy can remember where they were when they heard about the first plane hitting the World Trade Center, and the shock experienced when the second plane hit. The way I describe my experience is: After the first plane struck the North tower, 1 WTC, I was sitting in bed thinking, "Who the hell would make that mistake? How could they have flown so far off course?" I was so ignorant and especially naive. I'm thinking about the people who could have been affected on those floors, assuming that everyone else would be rescued or evacuated.  As I sat and watched the building burn, the second plane came into view and hit the South tower, 2 WTC. At that very instant, EVERYTHING changed. Ignorance flew out of the window and reality hit like a ton of bricks: "Oh my God, we are under attack." It was nearly impossible for two planes to fly off course in that manner. From that point, everything else spiraled out of control. With two more plane crashes in D.C. and Pennsylvania, I swear I thought we were at the start of WWIII. That's a scary thought. Thankfully, it was not the start of WWIII, but it was the start of two very costly wars, both in human life and financially. After 9/11/01, our world changed forever.

My story is just a small story in the big scheme of things. I wasn't there. I didn't actually live it or physically experience it. Ironically, I met someone, just this evening, who was actually there, in New York, on 9/11/01. Her story...well guess what? She was on her way to the Coach Store located at the WTC. Coach was having their semi-annual sale I think, and she said she was on her way to go shopping with a friend. It happened that the babysitter for her friend's child was late, and she was on a bridge, heading into Manhattan when the attacks occurred. She watched everything that happened from that bridge, and her car was stuck there for 4 days. She walked from there to her home in Harlem-over 150 blocks. She "should have" been there. But thankfully wasn't. Hearing that tonight truly shook me to the core. 

There are so many stories to be told, a seemingly infinite amount of perspectives. It will be years and years and years before all of the stories are told. Whether captured on video or expressed in a TV interview, each experience is unique in some way and I really wish I could hear them all. What is your story? Tell someone or write it down. Leave your perspective to be woven into the story of life after 9/11/01. 

May the Lord continue to bless the people of the world, the people of the United States of America.  And may the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Jo's Hair!

So I recently posted these pictures of my daughter's hair on Facebook. Thanks to all of the lovely responses, I finally decided to come back on here to post information on Jo's hair regimen. I'm so flattered and truly humbled that anyone would ask me questions about hair! Well, one thing is for sure, if I can say anything or do anything to promote positivity and encouragement when it comes to natural hair, THEN I'M YOUR GIRL! 

Okay...so the questions are: What do I use? What do I do? 

Products for Jo's hair:

1. A clarifying shampoo. Any kind will work but I am currently using Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo.

2. Pantene Anti-breakage Conditioner

3. Giovanni Direct Leave in Conditioner

or 

KINKY, WAVY, NATURAL HAIR

Easy Herbal Comb Out

4. Karen's Body Beautiful Jojoba Hair Oil or Darcy's Botanicals Madagascar Vanilla Styling Cream

Here are the basics: 

1. Use shampoo, focusing on the scalp. The hair strands and ends will be cleansed with the residual suds that run down when you rinse the shampoo out. This helps to prevent drying out the hair which leads to breakage. Most shampoos have sulfates in them, which strip hair of it's natural moisture so try not to shampoo too frequently. I shampoo Jo's hair between 1 and 2 weeks depending on her style.

2. Condition and detangle with the conditioner in it. Rinse hair completely, using cool to cold water for a minute or two. This helps to close the hair cuticles and keep the strands smooth.

3. Style. For hair that will be in ponytails I use a leave-in conditioner (Giovanni Direct-Leave in or the Kinky Wavy product) followed by Darcy's Botanicals Madagascar Vanilla Styling Cream (order online). This is what I use on Jordan's hair 95% of the time and I love it! 

I always seal in the moisture with an oil if not using Darcy's Botanicals: Coconut oil, jojoba oil (my favorite oil is from Karen's Body Beautiful, which you have to order online as well because she is located in NYC. I like the Creamy Coco Mango and Pomegranate scents.)

A concise glimpse of the process:

1. Shampoo
2. Condition and detangle
3. Rinse
4. Add leave-in/hair lotion in 4 sections
5. Add styling cream
6. Add hair oil if necessary (like a pea sized amount per section)
7. Style.

A few more important points:

I flat-iron Jo's hair every now and then (every 3 months or so) but not consistently. Whenever her hair is straightened, I trim the ends. When in it's natural state, I try my best to protect the ends by keeping them moisturized (spraying on water or Johnson and Johnson detangling spray, followed by the hair oil or cream to seal in the moisture), and tucking them away. Protecting and moisturizing the ends is the #1 way to encourage length retention. I stopped using clips at the ends of her hair because they were causing breakage and split-ends, so when I need to keep a braid from unraveling, I use an "Ouchless" hair tie (the thin ones) and I place it about 1 1/2 inch from ends. Ouchless bands are used to hold in ponytails too (or sometimes I just braid each section). The bands should be taken out at night to prevent hair getting tangled and broken in them. Jo's hair is in braids (regular braids/plaits, not French braids or cornrows) 90% of the time. Once in a style, I try to keep from combing or brushing for at least 3 days and just focus on upkeep and having her look presentable. Lastly, NEVER comb or brush your little angel's hair while it is dry! ALWAYS wet hair with water or other water-based spray before manipulating. Adding a leave-in after the water helps to make detangling easier too!

I hope this helps ladies (and gents if you're interested too)!

Please feel free to click the "Follow" button to be notified of future posts on my blog. If you have any questions or need clarification, hit me up on Facebook and I'll be happy to help! 

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504265310

Disclaimer: All products used and featured in this post were purchased with my own money. I am not paid as a sponsor or to promote any product or product line. I do not own the rights to any of the product photos. Thank you! :-)

Product Junkism...When is Enough...ENOUGH??

My ultimate PJ moment...the moment when I realized that my product junkism had gone too far...didn't come with a particular purchase, just an overall realization that I have put over a thousand dollars (OR MORE!!) on hair product purchases when all of that money could have been in savings or better spent! I am actually ashamed of myself and of being so irresponsible. I wanted to get a new iPhone but since I've put so much money into products (especially products that don't work) I couldn't just go out and get it. I've spent that amount of money on my hair alone! That's ridiculous. And for that reason, since I don't have the money I need and want in the bank but rather in my cabinets, I AM DONE! No more purchases on the whim. If I don't have it (which I probably do or something compatible) then I won't get it! PERIOD. It's time to get my money out of my hair and into my pockets!!! It's about long-term stability and my hair pjism has gotten way out of hand.

http://www.curlynikki.com/2011/02/your-ultimate-pj-moment.html?showComment=1298571973814

Here are some of my latest photos...

Wash and Go, Texture Shot 1

Wash and Go, Texture Shot 2 (my crown area is a different texture. I think it's 4a)

Wash and Go, Texture Shot 3

This is the second time I flat-ironed my hair after my BC 1 year and 3 months ago

Wash and Go using Jane Carter Solution, Curl Defining Cream and diffuser

Wash and Go using Jane Carter Solution, Curl Defining Cream

My attempt at a Twist and Curl! I don't like it but I'm working on it!

My hair without any product and air-dried

Hair Regimen

My regimen changes from time to time depending on how I feel. I mostly like to wash my hair, condition, style and go for at least a week before I do it all over again. Here's my regimen below. I also have a YouTube channel (youtube.com/anniegracie101). I plan to drop a couple of new videos there soon. Ok...here goes:

1. Cleansing: Wash with a sulfate shampoo if I have product build up (Pantene Frizzy to Smooth, Pantene Anti-breakage, Tresemme Anti-breakage, Suave Daily Clarifying). I mainly use the Pantene and shampoo once to get the initial gook out, but still focusing only on my scalp. Then, I do a second shampoo for the scalp (massaging with the pads of my fingers and usually not my nails unless it’s really itching! LOL). During the second wash I let the suds really get down the hair strands and press my hair between my hands, running in a downward motion. I never pile all of my hair on top of my head but keep in a downward direction. I do all of this in the shower.

I rarely ever "conditioner wash" (co-wash) unless I’m styling with conditioner. I found that it’s better for me to just use shampoo and start fresh. I don’t have any problems with my hair drying out because I condition well after every shampoo and after styling as well.

2. Still in the shower: I rinse and condition with Giovanni Deeper Moisture. I alternate conditioners depending on how my hair feels. Sometimes I'll use Pantene Frizzy to Smooth Conditioner but lately it hasn't been giving me enough slip to detangle, so I'm back to the Giovanni. I'll put a generous amount of conditioner in my hair and then put it in a ponytail. While the conditioner sits, I take care of the other showering business. Afterwards, I take my ponytail down and detangle in 2 halves. Starting at the ends I use a wide-tooth comb and detangle. I previously used the Denman brush but I lost it for a while and had been using a wide-tooth comb followed by a fine-tooth comb to make sure all the tangles were out. Just the other day, I found the Denman and used it on my daughter’s hair after detangling with a wide-tooth comb. I only then realized how beneficial it is to use the Denman, not just to detangle but also to REMOVE the hair that has been shed. It has taken me my whole dogon life to understand the science of hair and hair care and I’m still learning new things all of the time!

3. Final rinse in the shower: I rinse my hair with cool to cold water (as much as I can stand it) until all of the conditioner is out. I previously left “rinse-out” conditioner in my hair for styling but since I have gotten into new products, such as real leave-ins and moisturizers, I stopped doing that, although I never had a problem with it at all.

After rinsing the conditioner, I get out of the shower and squeeze out the extra water from my hair using a towel. I do not *rub* the towel on my hair, just gently press it.

4. Styling:

Braids or twists- I use a leave-in conditioner (Giovanni Direct Leave-in, Jane Carter Curl Defining Cream, Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Hair Lotion), I alternate between these and others depending on how I feel and how my hair feels. I’m always experimenting and nothing every totally satisfies me. I like to change it up a lot! The staple product here would be the Giovanni Direct Leave-in, however. Though now I’m finding out the formula may have changed and it IS a lot thicker than it use to be. After moisturizing, I seal my cuticles with a hair oil or butter. (Karen’s Body Beautiful-KBB Jojoba Oil is my #1 pick and truly a staple for sealing my moisture in. I also use KBB hair cream and butter, my own shea butter mix, olive oil, coconut oil, other oils...YES I’m a product junkie! 9 times out of 10 I use the KBB oil). Braids or twists are usually medium to large in size. I’ll wear them down or pin them up/ponytail. I will wear my hair in this type of *protective style* if I’m not doing anything for the week, I don’t have anywhere to go, etc. If I’m going out I will braid/twist, dry and braid-out/twist-out for the event.

Wash and Gos: This is my signature style. After the shower, usually, I will NOT squeeze out the excess water but go straight to putting in my Wash and Go styler. I usually need dripping wet hair to style my Wash and Gos in order to avoid frizz. I currently use the Jane Carter Curl Defining Cream and have great success. I love that stuff! But I have also used the Komaza Haircare Coconut Line, Mixed Chicks, and 100% Aloe Vera Gel to achieve great Wash and Gos. I almost ALWAYS seal my hair with the hair oil by scrunching it/smoothing it in. To achieve a lot of volume I will spray on a silicone-based serum (Giovanni, African Pride, etc), which serve as heat protectants and I will diffuse my hair with a blow dryer and diffuser attachment. I use medium heat and low or high intensity of the blower depending on how much time I have to dry my hair.

One other thing: For Wash and Gos, I apply the styler with my hair in 4-5 sections, raking in through and smoothing my hair strands in a downward motion. I will then apply the hair oil to each section in the same way.

Ponytails: I use a brush to smooth my hair into a ponytail. I try not to put the hair band, usually Goody Ouchless on too tight or smooth my edges down extremely tight. Sometimes I braid or twist my ponytail in 4-5 parts and sometimes I just let it be free!

Puffs: I use to love wearing my hair in a puff but at its current length it really doesn’t puff anymore. If I wear a satin bonnet to sleep, I might get enough volume to rock a puff but it would have to be on 3^rd or 4^th day hair. Which brings me to...

5. Bedtime routine: I cover my hair with a satin bonnet and go to sleep! Sometimes I will rebraid/twist if I have something to do the next day. Usually, I do not do anything but cover my hair and just wait to see what style I come up with in the morning. If I can’t work it, I will rewet my hair and basically do a Wash and Go!

6. Deep Conditioning: Since my Big Chop (BC) I deep conditioned on no particular schedule, just when I felt like it was necessary. I alternated between protein and moisture. For protein, I used egg/mayo/olive oil, or Aubrey Organics GPB. For moisture I used Darcy’s Botanicals Deep Conditioner, KBB Deep Conditioning Mask, or Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose. I covered the hair with a plastic cap or grocery bag and wrapped a towel, like a turban, around my head. If I sat under the hair dryer it may have been once or twice, but I usually did not. This year, however, I will deep condition weekly or bi-weekly alternating between protein and moisture. I will use the same products for protein and moisture but will add the Queen Helene Cholesterol Conditioner in there somewhere. My plan has changed due to split ends and fairy knots (single strand knots). I also plan to trim more frequently-instead of once every six months I will do it once every 3 months. Lastly, I plan to do more protective styling (keeping my hair stretched out) and less Wash and Gos (which I believe is the reason for my split ends and fairy knots.

I have flat-ironed my hair twice in the 1 year and 3 months since my BC. I have blow-dried my hair maybe 4-5 times. I used the Ion Leave-in and the Ion Heat Protectant sprays (Sally Beauty Supply) before blowing, and the Chi Silk Infusion before the flat-ironing.

Okay...I think that’s it! It seems like a lot on paper but it’s really not that much when I’m doing it. I will definitely be saving this message to share with others. I’m glad I finally had the opportunity to write it all down!

Happy Hair Journey!

Another Response to a Curly Nikki Post...Not Natural Enough

I have been natural the majority of my life. I ventured into relaxers at different points and for different reasons (tired of the frizziness, wanting it bone-straight for the bob cut I had, etc.) but I always grew it out and went back to what was natural for me. When I got relaxers, people always asked me, "Why did you get a relaxer, you don't even need it." But it was what I wanted to do and met my needs at the time. That's the beauty (or should be) of being a black woman. I can do whatever I want and with time, always come back to whatever it is that makes me happy. After having off and on relaxers and growing them out over the years, I decided to Big Chop a year ago. It was something I had never done before but I was so encouraged and influenced by the YouTube Natural Community that I just jumped off the porch and did it! A year later my hair is longer than it was then, all "natural" and the healthiest it's ever been! My mother and sisters swore me off when I cut my hair but I trusted myself and what I had researched and am better off because of it. One of the comments posted above touched upon dark skin women who get questioned..."How did you get your hair to curl like that?" as if our hair cannot have that 3b/3c curl naturally. Well I do and I should not have to explain myself because of other people's preconceived notions about who should have looser curl patterns. You wouldn't believe how often I get questioned as if my texture is somehow "better." But TRUST ME that I have issues still. I can't rock a twist out nearly as beautifully as another with 4a/4b texture. I get so envious! But nothing is perfect and to the well-organized mind, the grass is green all around and on every side! You just have to appreciate who you are, what you are working with...and keep it pushing!

Okay I'm off the soapbox now...LOL

http://www.curlynikki.com/2010/11/not-natural-enough.html